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Post by lynneheins on Mar 17, 2019 19:24:39 GMT
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Post by moll22 on Mar 17, 2019 21:51:03 GMT
Hi Lynne,
You describe what’s going on between the lines of dialogue very well. I loved the line, “The lump in my throat could choke an elephant.” Your anxiety is very present in the piece.
I was a bit confused when you first mentioned trying to reimagine the scene. I wasn’t sure at first if I was reading a reimagined scene or reality, but I figured it out at the end, when you describe Miss Soloff just moving on to the next lesson. Maybe add a line stating that this is what really happened.
As someone who also had to memorize the Prologue of CT, I empathize! Thank goodness for modern English translation hints in the margins of my text!
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Post by Vicki Mayk on Mar 23, 2019 15:20:53 GMT
Great details: the description of the skirts you wore was outstanding, because you also used those skirts to reflect how you felt about school, how uncomfortable you felt in class, etc. Such a detail used in such a way reflects a great deal of skill.
I like the device of imagining scenarios. BUT – it’s memoir. So I wouldn’t devote as much of the piece to the imagined part. There is a memoir that was called “Lying” written by an author named Lauren Slater. It’s not humorous – which your piece is! – but it essentially employs this device of going back and forth between real and imagined. But if you really want to keep this more memoir, I’d make the imagined part a little more succinct.
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