L. Heins Week Two. Option 2

[lynneheins]

Will be punctual in future

Attachments:

Heins Session 2 Slant- Option 2 copy.docx (8.97 KB)

[maura]

Summer camp is a classic subject! The old buildings, chores, and early morning swimming reminded me of when I went to Girl Scout camp. I really like how there are two layers of memory in this- your young days as a camp counselor, and later returning with your husband. Also, the contrast of summer and fall are nice. I love the nature details, such as the bird sounds and the glistening lake. And the descriptions of the "primitive" buildings and the saloon like office are really vivid. Another good detail that brings it together-the peeling paint that reminds you of potatoes,which you peeled so many of earlier.

I'm thinking for a smoother transition, maybe a ~ symbol after the opening sentence and before the paragraph "Camp Ayapo closed in 2009 after eight decades of providing children with a lifetime of memories. My husband and I stop there five years after its closure, a few years before the town of Somers purchases it calling the camp, “Nature’s gem in the state of Connecticut to be preserved.” Or some other kind of transition to more clearly show the change in time. I like the opening because I wasn't sure what to expect and you provided a vivid picture of it.

I love the ending ”Oh no. I have everything I came for. Inhaled for a lifetime” It's very (for lack of a better word) Zen.

I really enjoyed this piece!

[saburcat]

You've got great imagery throughout this piece: "hoses squirting off winter dust from signs," "shimmering lake down the hill," "road pencils through the camp," "the power of the pelting rain during a thunderstorm is like a timpani in a symphony orchestra," "I quickly love this cozy cocoon." You bring the sounds and feels of summer camp in through these various images, as well as the chores and jobs you have as a counselor.

I like the opposing views: the standpoint from your teenage years, and then later, in adulthood. I know that feeling of returning to a place that was such a presence in your past, and how you feel like you're returning home while at the same time taking in the changes. And sometimes, how you feel out-of-place because of those differences, and yet feel at home because of your memories. I feel you do that here, that as an adult you are able to combine those past memories with what you're currently experiencing; that you can see/feel/smell/hear the camp from that long ago time but super-imposed over the quiet experience of being there as an adult when it's no longer open. You capture that feeling of nostalgia very well.

Louise